After a meditation this morning I have had several realizations.
1. For a long time, people that knew me could not focus their perception all the way and see the 'real me'. Just this morning a neighbour seemed to think something of me I had no idea of, and it leads the conclusion that the scalar attacks were on not just me, but to others that normally would call me trustworthy.
2. I don't have a lot of friends. Because of how people are persecuted around me, I've been without much of an understanding from another person who will listen to something I speak. Honestly I do realize most of the time that people are attacked, and I realize I am attacked too and no one trusts each other to make amends with their words. Today a neighbour out of misunderstanding threw away our friendship and wouldn't explain anything about their actions. It just hurts in a way that I can't help the person because they won't give their understanding.
3. Meditation has been my refuge from suffering for years now, and only just recently have I achieved peace. It's important to me to have the feeling I want, peace and quietness for reasons that are very understood to me. For so, so long I was attacked with terrible energy beams and scalar weapons that felt like rape, they could emulate this emotion. I've lived 39 years but never felt a sense of peace and security. I think that in the future if this continues I'll be much better off living with people who strive to care to understand.
4. I had experiences with someone that really helped me. There is this person in my life, they re really sexy and funny and loves to give pleasure. They helped me feel things I had never felt before and I had to write this just to express the gratitude. Thanks to that dreamy person, I have never felt healthier and more vital. I have has success in life towards my real goal. Helping to further peace for Gaia and her peoples. I have wanted peace for this planet since I was born, and struggled as a journalist for so long with torture. But there was journalism, a follow through: real writing in a published e-book on Mega now. The idea of success has become my satisfaction, and I have a feeling I am going to be a very gifted person in the near future. I have the best idea that there is this woman from Venus that loves me. The creator of genetics, Ra The Sex Goddess and I love each other, and want for us to live on Gaia in peace.
5. The journey of learning meditation has given me the most profound feelings of satisfaction in knowing myself, knowing others, experience mine and others' compassion, and having clear ideas about the world. Meditation and learning a meditative mindset with the tools of words that have compassion are the things I have benefitted from in ways that I would not imagine for a lesser experience. This means I have decided to be my best self, a goal where I'm not a hard person, not callous or insensitive. I look up to Christ for this example of compassion he makes with his own. I feel like I am living out the meaning of life because of this, and the gifts I have I feel I need to share for others to feel pleasure and joy from having me in their experience. The mindset I have is like someone who's skill it is to seek out people in need of an answer, a medicine, an idea that is sane and giving them their health. The things I want in life the most have started in their creation for me, and I keep feeling more and more gratitude for everything I am able to give. What life was like when I was 21 and a generally negative person, without an understanding of minfullness, I wouldn't even recognize that old teen-20's me from the past.
6. Christ is waiting to come to earth. Basically there is no threat that we should make to god's spaceship that lands as well as Ra, and then they will have returned. Right now they are just waiting to see if they can land to come to earth and both of them have said they want to live here with us on the planet Gaia.